A reliable investigative reporter not associated with Fox News has revealed discovery of a previously unknown copy of a birth certificate for Sarah Palin. It was issued by the Canadian Government. It appears that Sarah's mother sought FREE medical care in the Yukon as part of the Canadian National Health Care System. Local hospital employees in Dawson have confirmed that they saw the family on numerous occasions. It is rumored that the mother wanted ANCHOR babies so that she could enroll in welfare and child support from the Canadian government. "Everyone on the American side wants to take advantage of the great life here in Canada" says a government spokesperson. We should build a fence along the border and have armed patrols to keep the damn American freeloaders out". It is further rumored that up to 50% of the "American" population along the Canadian border are actually persons born in Canada. The Canadian government feels that it should be reimbursed for the hospital and welfare expenses caused by these illegal aliens. "Perhaps some of that $1500 oil money each and every Alaskan receives could fund their own health care system", states a high placed Yukon official.
A recent Canadian census reveals that as many as 20 million Americans are in Canada illegally. The national government in Ottawa is considering legislation, similar to the State of Arizona, to profile these illegals and send them back. "They have no respect for our flag and don't even want to learn to speak Canadian". Said Premier Defenbaker. "Once they have their ANCHOR babies they send for grandma and grandpa and all of their cousins". It is estimated that one out of three welfare cheats is actually an illegal american. "They also take all of the low paying jobs away from real citizens". ran an editorial headline in the Yukon Gold Rush Times.
"Something has to be done or Canada will become the 51st State of the United States." Stated the chairman of the newly formed "Beer Party" located in Vancouver, B.C. This may indeed be the beginning of new tension along the 3,000 mile border between Canada and the United States. It is rumored that a coalition of american militia and drug dealers is forming to keep the border patrol free with free access North.
Keep your eye on this blog for further developments in the Great White North.
YES.....this is a spoof article.